dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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