carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
