I just made out with a guy for $7.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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