apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
