Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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