One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
