The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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