3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize