he shaved USA in his pubs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
