Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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