508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
