I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
