Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
