my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
