Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
