i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
