i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
