I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
