do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Alive.
So much puke
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
