No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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