that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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