I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
