I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
