i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
