My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
