I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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