If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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