U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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