there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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