some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
