Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
