arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
