Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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