im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize