Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
