When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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