So drunk its hurt
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
