3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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