I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
