In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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