Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Less talking, more tequila
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
