Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
