I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
