I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
