I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
