Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
