My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
