if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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