gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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