Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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