I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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