the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
