we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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