well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
