Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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