Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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