My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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