"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
