haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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